I got through brush hogging some little saplings, etc. the other day. Hadn't been on either of my tractors since before the accident. I'm not supposed to be on them still but waited till Wife was gone to town. She had a yard sale going and left me in charge. Not the best of ideas on her part. Still, things were going okay till I decided to lay down in my hammock. Bonnie and Clyde and their Mother Beauty were playing in their run. I have the hammock situated inside the run. Dogs have been trained to NOT do their business around the hammock. Beauty is a Shih Tzu and she got pregnant by Sandy, my much lamented Havanese service dog, before he was killed.
Damned underwear was some I'd been meaning to get rid of due to the elastic being so worn out. I'm a ways from the road so I'll change outdoors whenever I please. Underwear was binding and not worth a damn any way so I just stopped the tractor, jumped off and got rid of the damn things. Had some nice work shorts on which were lined so I wasn't worried about being chaffed.
I forgot about this after getting off the tractor and deciding to take a quick snooze in the hammock since the yard sale was dead for the time being. Clyde loves to jump up on Wife or myself when we're in our easy chairs in the living room in the house. Little live wire also loves to hop up in the hammock with "Dad" whenever I'm in it after wearing himself out playing in the run. He sleeps in an odd fashion at times. Likes to lay on his back with his hardware shining for the world to see.
I'm laying there snozing so is he and all of a sudden I hear someone holler, "YOU PERVERT AND YOUR DOG IS TOO!" I open one eye, lo and behold there's some red faced gal staring at me and Clyde. Clyde vaults out of the hammock and commences barking at her. She's staring at me and I finally figure out where she's looking. Ah well, so much for not needing the damn underwear.
I roll out the other side of the hammock "get myself back in order" and face her. She's still glaring at me so of course I say something.
I ask her, "What's a matter? See something you've not seen before?"
She's even more red faced than before, mouth wide open and screams, "If only my Husband was here!"
I don't miss a beat and ask her, "Why? Is he a meat gazer?"
This reduces her, thankfully, to speechlessness and she dashes to her car and goes racing down the drive. Wife is coming up the drive about this time and has to pull over to let her pass.
She gets parked, gets out and asks me, "What's her problem?"
I was brutally honest, of course. I told her Clyde barked at her, she said some disparaging things about Clyde and I told her she needed to leave. It pays to be honest with your Wife, trust me I know.